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It’s Saturday morning at last…the week is almost over. So much as happened since. My legs are still sore from Wednesday when we had our first MMA training session. I pulled a muscle in my thigh so I had to stop for a few minutes after doing squats. The next day I could barely walk from being sore and my upper body hurt too. I’m just glad the pain has finally receded to where I can go back to working out again by tomorrow. I’ll be doing the same exercises we did on Wednesday so when it comes time to train again, I’ll be ready.

I also took a 2-hour private dance lesson before the MMA session. I’d say I learned quite a bit and felt an improvement in how I approach things when it comes to dancing with a partner. At first I felt timid, nervous, unsure. Then once I understood what I needed to do and how to make things simple in my mind so I don’t think too much, it gave me the confidence to make dancing more fluid for myself.

So my goal for dancing is to be more thorough when it comes to leading. Apparently I’m too gentle and I need to be clearer so my follower doesn’t get confused with what I intend to do.

Anyway, I got to practice tonight and while I didn’t became a dance superstar overnight, I still felt some improvement there, even if I kept things pretty simple. I had some girls ask me to dance, so I’d say that’s a positive sign, even if they’re not exactly lining up to dance with me. I can understand I don’t look very approachable so it is what it is.

One thing I do hate is that I sweat so easily and so much in very little time. Within the first 2 songs I was already dripping in sweat that I’m forced to go to the bathroom and wipe the sweat off my head before heading back out to the dance floor. And by the time I get back, all the girls I wanted to ask are of course taken already, which means I have to wait another few minutes after the song is over to cool off.

Another thing that makes it a bit more difficult to improve is that I’m dancing with girls of different skill levels, and I always have to adjust according to how I should lead them. Some need more tension, and others don’t need much. Oh yeah, the floor was sticky as shit tonight, like someone spilled a drink the night before and no one bothered to mop it up.

Anyway, I’ve decided that I need to start being more frugal with money. I don’t have a job, and while I’m currently collecting unemployment and still have savings, it’s slowly dwindling away and my unemployment is going to run out in a few weeks, so I really need to be careful. I’ve already decided to sell several sneakers I bought that I never worn and a couple that I did wear but are still in great condition.

The private lesson I took cost me quite a bit, and while it was really good knowledge to obtain, I felt kinda stupid for not realizing how simple it is to dance the right way. I need to start focusing on what’s more important now. Quality over quantity. While it was nice to learn some new turn patterns, I feel it also screwed me up cause now I’m trying to think of what patterns to use instead of trying to come up with something on my own, as I’ve been taught to do in the private lesson which cost me an arm and a leg. I’ll still go to the Tuesday bachata lesson but not the Thursday one anymore probably.

I feel like I’m just rambling on and on. I’ve been writing this entry for the past hour probably, switching tabs back and forth until I think of more stuff to write. I’m done. I just hate worrying about things and feeling compelled to write them down so I’d feel better about it. Fuck getting older. Sometimes I wish I was still in my early 20’s, where I felt like the sky’s the limit and I could do whatever I wanted and I had almost limitless energy. Now I’m 30 and still have a lot of shit I want to accomplish. I need a permanent full-time job that pays well. I need to finish school, get my FAA license and my bachelor’s. And I’d like to actually progress in dancing and get over this plateau I’ve been in for the past few years.

If anything I may take private lessons from other teachers if I feel they’ll benefit me and if they’re at a much lower cost. This teacher was super expensive for 2 hours, and while it was worth it, I wouldn’t pay that much again.

Ok. I’m really done. Good night.