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Feeling a bit overwhelmed right now. I just got asked to join a salsa team cause they need guys, but I’m not sure if I want to cause that would make it 5 teams and 5 routines for me to learn. I want to take on the challenge but a part of me says to be realistic about it.

At the same time I’m feeling a bit lonely. It would be nice to have some female affection. And I just broke up with my (ex)girlfriend earlier this week. She did nothing wrong, I just wanted to be single and not have to be tied down to anyone right now. I do wish I had someone to talk to about this stuff.

I suppose I’ll talk about some positives this past week and maybe that’ll make me feel a little better. I’ve been talking with J online about meeting up to dance since we met and we finally did this past Friday. I was a little iffy about the venue at first because I don’t like jersey but the lessons were actually pretty good and they had a good turnout. The male to female ratio was pretty even and there were more women towards the end. J made it towards the last half of the lesson and got her to join in. It felt good to see her, and that our plans came to fruition, especially since she drove 1.5 hours to get there, while it only took me about 15 minutes. I do have a problem when it comes to having friends with me and that is I tend to dance more with them than I do with other people on the floor. Normally if I’m by myself I walk around the room and look for girls to ask, but this time I stayed in our section and asked whoever I knew or was near. I’ll have to work on that.

She’s pretty cool but I realize I get bored if I dance with the same person repeatedly, cause it feels like they know all my moves and like the novelty of it wears off. Another thing I like is that we can talk and not really get bored. We ended up staying there till close to 2 and went to a nearby diner to eat before parting ways. We hung out for an hour and got to know some fairly intimate details about her.

The next day I had rehearsal for the first time on my 3rd bachata team and 1st kizomba one. The bachata one went well but I definitely need to practice to get the timing. The kizomba one went well also and I just need to listen to the music to get the timing down as well, but the moves are easy so far. Afterwards, I went home, ate, took a 15 minute nap, showered, and drove down to south jersey to meet with J again at another venue. My night didn’t go as well and I wasn’t feeling the people there either. I was dumb enough to dance through 5-6 songs straight and had my shirt drenched in sweat, which made me feel extremely uncomfortable, enough to make me go back outside to my car and change my shirt. After that, I wasn’t really motivated to dance with anyone anymore as it seemed like every time I wanted to ask someone to dance, someone else had gotten their attention before I did. I was turned off by that, and to top it off, there was this pretty girl who approached the dance floor and I thought she was looking to get asked, so I did, and she said no, she was looking for a friend. I felt deflated and angry after that, to be honest. Like fuck this bitch, I’m never gonna ask her again the next time, have fun dancing with these old dudes who suck.

The good thing about this night was that J had to leave early since she had to go somewhere early the next day. So shortly before midnight we left to go to Dunkin Donuts so she could use the bathroom since the one in the venue was out of order. On the way back we got pulled over right away, and it turns out she made a right turn on red when she wasn’t supposed to. Luckily the cop let us go since he just wanted to make sure she wasn’t drinking. We drove back to the venue, parked, and talked some more before parting ways.

The next day I woke up past noon, and barely got ready for the 3:30 rehearsal. It was a good session, although the new part of the routine I learned was difficult. I’m gonna have to practice this one a lot before being fully comfortable with it. And I’m still not even fully comfortable with the footwork from the week prior. The good thing is that next week we won’t be learning new material and we’ll have a chance to review everything and get some practice.

But the one thing I’m stressed about now is the fact that I got asked to join a salsa team, which would make it 5 routines that I’d have to memorize if I decide to do it. I told him I’ll think about it and on Tuesday I get a chance to observe the rehearsal and make my decision then.

Also, I have a job interview in the morning at 8 AM. It sounds like a possibly promising position since the hours work well with my dance schedule. Then I have to remember to collect my unemployment afterwards and drop off a package at the post office. Ugh, it’s going to be a fairly busy morning.

My life is just crazy right now. I’m even thinking about postponing going to school if this job goes well. I wouldn’t want to be a dickhead and work full time for not even 2 months only to leave because school started. And on top of that, I have my 2-week annual tour next month, which will make me unable to work my normal job if I did get it. More than likely I may have to reschedule it to accommodate them and to show that I’m taking the job seriously.

Fuck my life…