This weekend I just felt off during and after social dancing, but I realize it’s just what happens when one’s trying to improve. This is one of those things that just takes some time to master, and you just have to keep going no matter what. I can’t let anything discourage me. I also realized I haven’t even been dancing that long. I started dancing bachata around March 2013, but I was really on and off that year. I only went out and took lessons a handful of times. In 2014, I picked up dancing again around August, and was pretty consistent with taking lessons and social dancing until I left for basic in November. I was also on and off in 2015, where I danced once or twice around March, May, and then I took a bachata shines performance challenge in November and performed in December. I still wasn’t going out every weekend like I should’ve. It wasn’t until this past January where I really picked things up and took it to another level. And now it’s March 13th, so basically I’ve only been doing this on a regular basis for 2 and a half months. 2 and a half months more and I’m set to perform the 4 routines I’m learning. In conclusion, I’ve done so much the past couple of months that it literally has felt like 6 months or more. I can’t be down on myself like this when I’ve actually made a lot of progress since January. I learned a lot and improved a lot. I’ve made several friends and I got to dance with a lot of them this weekend, so I should be thankful that I’ve been able to do this. Because if I was still on and off like I have the past few years, I’d be that guy who just sits by himself and doesn’t really talk to anybody, or someone who’d prefer to stay home because it doesn’t feel worth it to travel a bit just to dance.
I have to look at the big picture. My problem is I’m too critical of myself sometimes. I understand I want to be really good right away, but I suppose it’s just not realistic to achieve greatness in a couple of months. It takes several, even years, to get to that level.
I also realize I still have insecurities that I need to address. One is that I don’t like looking at myself in the mirror, and to get better as a dancer, you have to look at yourself in the mirror at all times so you can see where you need to fix things and know what looks good and what doesn’t.
Another thought that’s been coming to mind lately…I know financially I’m not in the best situation, especially at my age. And while most people would expect me to focus on establishing a career for myself so I don’t have to worry about bills, here I am focusing on doing what I love instead. Why? Because screw people’s expectations. Life is short, and I have to enjoy every moment I’m given, you never know when it will be your last.