It’s 6 AM and after about 5 hours of sleep, I found it difficult to go back to it since my mind’s on overdrive just thinking about how I’m going to make the most out of the coming days. Today I’m having lunch with my old boss/friend from my previous job then I have to work the rest of the day until 9:30-10 PM. After that, I’ll go home, change, and go to my local spot for dancing. It may not be the ideal place, but I’ll do my best to dance with anyone who wants to.
Looks like my plans for the weekend is set as well. Friday is the usual, dancing in NYC. I am contemplating on taking the kizomba lessons before I go but I’m nervous about seeing Irina there. Should I go or not? I feel like I shouldn’t give a F and just do it, because I need to learn the dance anyway and that will get me warmed up for Saturday and Sunday. And it’s not like we’re meant to be anyway, so why should I care? She might not even show up, which would be a good thing so I don’t have to think about her. Honestly, even if she comes I just don’t want any type of awkwardness, that’s all. I’m only there to take the lessons to learn what I can from it, and move on with my life afterwards.
On Saturday I will take some zouk/kizomba classes in the afternoon in NYC and then go out social dancing at night. Then on Sunday, I just caught word of a social that’s happening in Philly so I will be going there instead of work (which will be rescheduled for Monday). I’m actually excited for that one since I get to redeem myself from the last time I was there. Even though I had a decent time, I felt I was too picky with my dances because I was self-conscious. This time will be different, I promise to myself. The good thing is that they will be playing kizomba so I should have plenty of opportunities to practice.
So overall I have to make the most of the next coming days because this is as much dancing as I’m probably going to have for the next 6 months. I’m going to miss all the lessons, the Friday nights, meeting different people, and everything else. But I know I’m going to come out a different yet much better person once I come back. My mind and body will be tested and pushed to the limit, and I will have to endure it all. I’m ready. I have no choice but to be.