I’ve had a girlfriend for the past month or so now and it’s been quite a wonderful yet terrifying ride at the same time. My feelings are torn over her. I love her yet I don’t feel good enough that maybe letting her go and doing things the way I did before would be better for both of us. That way, she can find someone who can “provide” for her while I go back on my long and slow journey of finding my own career path. I hate feeling like I have to live up to someone else’s expectations. It’s much easier when I can simply be me and do what I want to do, whenever I want. I also feel like I’m putting in so much of my time and energy towards her that I hardly have any time to spend to myself. I try to do all the right things and be the best person for her, despite my shortcomings. I do my best to be patient, be a good listener, help her with anything I can, drive her to places, take her out to eat, give her massages whenever she asks (which is quite often), pay for stuff, open doors, carry heavy things, etc. I do all these things because I care and I do love her. Which is really hard for me to admit, and I haven’t told her the L word yet. I suppose I normally wouldn’t be so afraid of saying such things if I never got all these mixed signals from her. On one hand she’s very sweet, affectionate, and helps me with things to make me better. She cooks every now and then. She makes an effort to make me feel loved, and is not shy to show she’s with me in front of her friends and mine. On the other hand, she tells me she prefers someone who made as much money as she does, the traditional gender role of the male being the provider, and the worst part is she’s still hung up over her ex. About a couple weeks ago she told me she was planning to go see him and go dancing. And that she wasn’t completely over him, that she feels the need to see him so she can try to have some closure. And there was one time that she went to the movies with him a “few weeks” prior, that she did kiss him but didn’t feel anything. When I asked when exactly that few weeks were and if it was when we were together, she couldn’t answer me and got angry, as if I was pushing her away by asking that question. I tried letting it go but it’s been lingering in my mind ever since and I don’t know what to do to get rid of it. Would mentioning it to her again even help? She was supposed to go see him sometime this weekend, Friday to be exact, but she was with me the whole time. But on Saturday at the last minute, she told me she forgot she was going to lunch with her friends at 1:30. Normally I wouldn’t be upset by this, but since it was last minute and she didn’t bother mentioning any names, I didn’t like it. She finally gave me names of her friends and she mentioned that they’re not part of our dance community, but that didn’t exactly make me feel better. Regardless, I dropped her off at the train station and went back to my own place and took care of my business until she was ready to meet again. We met up again about 5 hours later, and I didn’t hear much details about it except she got a necklace from one of them. It didn’t look anything like a person of romantic interest would give her so I didn’t care to look into it further. Anyway, when I get mixed signals like this and having lack of details, it messes with my head. Believe me, I’m not a jealous person at all. I was in my younger days, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve learned not to be because it’s not healthy. I never pressured her into anything, ever. Especially when it comes to sex. I never touched her private areas until I was 100% absolutely sure it was ok. She even told me she liked that about me, and she had my respect after that. But back to the point. I’m only torn up because of these things she told me and I haven’t been able to fully relax in our relationship. I feel like I have my guard up the whole time, which is emotionally taxing. I just feel like giving up at times. At the same time I know she really likes me and told me she wants to make it work. Question is, can we? She also told me she’s afraid to tell me how she really feels, and that she’s a very emotional person. I feel like I know how she really feels but is afraid to get hurt again, which I understand completely. I do want to hear that reassurance so my conscience is clear and I don’t have to worry so much anymore. But until then, I’m going to feel distracted and torn different ways. This is why I do my best to detach from her as soon as we’re not together. It’s hard to be 100% with someone when you feel like they’re not 100% with you.
It’s been since April when I last posted and so much has happened, it’s ridiculous. It finally feels like all the hard work has been paying off and I’m feeling an all-time high. There’s still work to be done and I’m not ready to stop yet. But so far, let’s recap:
- My first performance of the year was on June 10th, then performed again 2 days later for the 2nd debut.
- Kizomba debut was on the 17th, then performed the sensual bachata debut on the 18th.
- Went to the DC Zouk Festival from Friday the 24th till the next Monday morning. Performed 2 bachata routines that Saturday and Kizomba on Sunday.
- Last Saturday, July 2nd, performed the sensual bachata rountine. July 3rd, my NY bachata group performed our debut. It was the most fun I’ve had in a long time and my partner is really hot too. To think I was so close to quitting this group and for us to come together at the last minute when it mattered most will always stay with me. I’m extremely grateful for this experience.
- This past Friday, July 8th, I filled in for someone from the NY team to perform in the city. The place was packed and the crowd noise was deafening when we first entered the stage. I loved every second of it!
Some things I learned:
- Never drink alcohol or take any caffeine before a performance. It’s always better to stay sober as it helps me stay calm and not be so nervous. Drinking alcohol brings my mood down while drinking caffeine makes me jittery and more nervous. My intention has always been to stay hyped before a show but I found it best not to take anything and I felt more comfortable and “in the zone” while completely sober.
- Practice is extremely important. If I didn’t practice as much as I had during all these months, then I wouldn’t have the confidence I’d have on the dance floor/stage.
- Study the videos. I always hated looking at myself, but I just need to swallow my pride and suck it up. I have to do it to see where I look awkward and find ways to improve so that I look better out there.
It’s been an AMAZING experience so far and I’m so grateful for everything, to be able to meet all the people I know now, to learn something new almost every day, to get better at dancing overall, to perform with my teammates, and countless other benefits I’ve gained through these experiences. The entire month of July is booked with at least one performance every weekend. I’m filled with excitement and anticipation with each routine I get to perform.
But next weekend is going to be crazy. Busy AND crazy. For starters, I have a show with the sensual bachata group on Friday night. Then I have to wake up early the next day for reserve duty, work till 4:30 (while taking my fitness test that I NEED to pass), come home, and hopefully get some rest before our social later that night where I’m performing for 3 of the groups I’m in. 2 bachata routines and the Kizomba. It’s going to be insane having to constantly switch costumes between each performance. I don’t know how it’s going to work out but I’ll be training hard this week to make sure I can make it through.
I haven’t posted anything since March 28th, so it’s almost been a month. A lot of things have happened then. And I wasn’t even thinking about posting tonight, I just couldn’t sleep. So far, things are going well. 2 of the bachata routines are wrapping up, the 3rd one is still rough and the Kizomba one is a bit delayed due to scheduling conflicts. Other than that, I’ve been really busy with dancing overall.
And the single life is good. I started talking to this girl early last week and we planned to meet in less than 2 weeks. I thought she was cool to talk to at first and she really likes me, according to how things have gone. However, I don’t feel ready to give up being single yet and I’m not really attracted to her enough to do that. And she seems to be getting the impression we’ll be in a relationship eventually. I want to let her know without hurting her feelings and also have our date and have a good time. It might be hard to do. Well, she did mention we can hang out the next day if things go well the first day. So I suppose I may not really need to tell her anything and we can just do what we wanted to do.
I keep telling myself I have to be really picky this time when it comes to being in the next relationship. I just can’t settle anymore. It makes me feel stuck and wanting more. I went to this all-day bachata event in NYC with workshops and partying all night and it was fun. I found myself meeting a lot of girls there, and while several were attractive, I did not even care to remember their names. I really just wanted to dance and get better. Of course that doesn’t mean I’d turn down a hook up, I just wouldn’t put forth a lot of effort to make it happen. I had plenty of girls asking me for dances, which was awesome too. I just wish my calves weren’t sore and that my feet weren’t killing me at the same time. I was really hurting afterwards. I even had a girl ask for my number towards the end. She was ok to dance with but she was kinda cute so why not.
As far as the quality of dances are concerned, I had a mix of good and ok ones. Of course I have to be realistic and know that most women aren’t advanced so I won’t always get those amazing dances, but I at least had some I would consider “amazing.” Speaking of amazing, there’s this one girl who I always see at bachata events in NYC, and she’s really fun to dance with because she never fails to make eye contact and is always smiling. My first dance with her that night was nothing short of amazing. It was more than I imagined it would be. She was very smooth, sensual, and thoroughly enjoyable from start to finish. I asked for a second dance an hour or so later on and while she was still the same with eye contact and smiling, the vibe just wasn’t the same somehow. Like the energy had dissipated for whatever reason. I find myself with this situation at times with other girls too. Like the first meeting/dance was great, then it wasn’t so the second time. I guess it’s sort of a life metaphor. You may feel enamored with someone at first, but once you get past that “honeymoon stage,” the spark is lost. For me, I’d like to find someone who I’ll always have that “spark” with. That would be really something.
And speaking of which, I do feel I’ve met that person, and that was the girl I met in Baltimore. I actually didn’t think much of our first dance, but she really enjoyed it that she came up to me for a second dance after. And THEN that’s when I started to really enjoy dancing with her, to the point where nothing I do could be wrong, even if I messed up, and every single moment we had on the dance floor was magical. I am kinda mad she got me feeling this way though, because I never got her contact info, not even her Facebook. Well, at least the good thing is I know what to look for now.
This weekend I just felt off during and after social dancing, but I realize it’s just what happens when one’s trying to improve. This is one of those things that just takes some time to master, and you just have to keep going no matter what. I can’t let anything discourage me. I also realized I haven’t even been dancing that long. I started dancing bachata around March 2013, but I was really on and off that year. I only went out and took lessons a handful of times. In 2014, I picked up dancing again around August, and was pretty consistent with taking lessons and social dancing until I left for basic in November. I was also on and off in 2015, where I danced once or twice around March, May, and then I took a bachata shines performance challenge in November and performed in December. I still wasn’t going out every weekend like I should’ve. It wasn’t until this past January where I really picked things up and took it to another level. And now it’s March 13th, so basically I’ve only been doing this on a regular basis for 2 and a half months. 2 and a half months more and I’m set to perform the 4 routines I’m learning. In conclusion, I’ve done so much the past couple of months that it literally has felt like 6 months or more. I can’t be down on myself like this when I’ve actually made a lot of progress since January. I learned a lot and improved a lot. I’ve made several friends and I got to dance with a lot of them this weekend, so I should be thankful that I’ve been able to do this. Because if I was still on and off like I have the past few years, I’d be that guy who just sits by himself and doesn’t really talk to anybody, or someone who’d prefer to stay home because it doesn’t feel worth it to travel a bit just to dance.
I have to look at the big picture. My problem is I’m too critical of myself sometimes. I understand I want to be really good right away, but I suppose it’s just not realistic to achieve greatness in a couple of months. It takes several, even years, to get to that level.
I also realize I still have insecurities that I need to address. One is that I don’t like looking at myself in the mirror, and to get better as a dancer, you have to look at yourself in the mirror at all times so you can see where you need to fix things and know what looks good and what doesn’t.
Another thought that’s been coming to mind lately…I know financially I’m not in the best situation, especially at my age. And while most people would expect me to focus on establishing a career for myself so I don’t have to worry about bills, here I am focusing on doing what I love instead. Why? Because screw people’s expectations. Life is short, and I have to enjoy every moment I’m given, you never know when it will be your last.
I went to NYC tonight once again for some social dancing. The first place I went to was at this rooftop lounge on the corner of 8th and 48th. I initially thought it was the rooftop bar called 230 5th, but thank god it wasn’t, cause I have bad memories from that place. There were so many times I wanted to turn back and just go to 34th but no, I decided to persist. I finally got there and surprisingly the people who worked there were extremely nice to me. The awesome part was I never even paid a dime to get in and I was right on time even though I thought I was late (got there around 9:15, and lessons were supposed to start 15 minutes before). So it was supposed to be a sensual bachata social, meaning you’ll see a ton of people dancing super close. The lessons started off with this asian dude trying to teach us body rolls and different patterns using it. We learned 3 different ways to use it and then had partnerwork afterwards. The partnerwork didn’t really appeal to me because the way he was teaching it, there was no way you can lead one part of it socially.
This one girl I was dancing with thought I was being funny at one point. I kept telling her how weird the whole thing was, and whenever I was doing one part of the pattern, she kept thinking I was trying to make her laugh. She probably took my sarcasm literally. Haha. I did think the lesson was weird though. It would’ve been nice if we were taught something we could lead socially instead of something that just looks good for the sake of looking good. Anyway I think that guy is sorta well known in the dance community but he didn’t impress me that time. Oh well.
The social was actually pretty decent except the dance floor was way too small. People were bumping into each other everywhere and I wouldn’t dare try to dip anyone unless I was clear within a 3 meter radius, which I never was. Also, there was hardly any ventilation inside that room so it was really hot inside. And when it’s hot like that, I sweat much more than usual, and I already sweat a lot as-is, without it being hot to begin with. I found myself wiping my face with a towel after every song.
Then around 11:15 it was time to leave to go to 34th and see my other team and team’s director perform. I got there around 11:45 and got a couple bachata songs to dance in before the performances started. The first one was a couple, and I could tell the guy knew what he was doing and the female he was dancing with was really stiff and he was struggling to lead her the way he wanted to. In the end it looked like he was relieved to be finished performing with that chick, who was probably a nightmare to perform with, with the way she looked out there.
I believe our team was up next. Only 2 couples were able to make it to this one. Anyway the song starts and it was the wrong one. The host makes a joke about it and plays the next one. Wrong song again. Haha…finally after a few seconds of awkward waiting they finally got it. Everything was looking good until…one dude slides and bam, he falls and messes up. Crowd goes WHOAAA…then claps and cheers when he gets back up and resumes the routine. They finish the rest of it with no issues but you could see the disappointment in their faces. I’m pretty sure I’ll get to hear more of it on Monday. I wonder what was going through his mind when that happened. I honestly thought it was funny, not in the way it was making fun, but just in a comical way. Shit happens, and you just have to roll with it.
Our team director and his partner went up next. They did extremely well, and although there was one minor error, our director is really good at covering up his mistakes and making the rest look good. He’s a real pro, and that’s the reason I joined his team. I can’t wait to finish learning our song and having the chance to perform it.
After all the performances were done I went back to the bachata room to get a few songs in before I had to leave. Safe to say I left on a good note. I could’ve stayed a bit longer had I known that my train ride home was going to be delayed by a good half hour. And so here I am writing this and I’m pretty drowsy already. I’m still waiting for my blanket to be done from the dryer and I have a bunch of clothes I need to fold and put away in the dresser. Shit.
Before I go I need to add this…so after dancing tonight I realized some things I need to work on. I need to be a lot smoother. I’m better than what I was a month or so ago but I still have some rough edges here and there. Fuck I’m so sleepy I can’t think anymore.
I need to start sleeping early, cause every time I stay up late and don’t get enough sleep, I get anxious, like I’ve been missing out on precious hours of the day. So I finally went to the long-awaited Friday night event at my favorite spot in PA last night, and, well, it was just okay. I started off slow, wasn’t really trying to dance close, and didn’t get that vibe from the girls I danced with as well. I think what threw me off a bit was the fact that I wore my brand new white patent dance shoes for the first time and I felt weird wearing it. Not only that, but I expected it to be a little roomy and to my surprise it ended up being too snug for my liking. I have consistently bought the same size from the same company and yet this was the first time it happened. But I decided to dance with it anyway instead of exchanging it like I should’ve.
So the first hour was slow, then they started the performances, which took a half hour since there were so many groups. I wasn’t really impressed with many of them except the team I was on. There was one bachata group that was decent but I thought they were trying too hard by dancing fast on a song that was meant to be slow paced. For the first time it also felt good to be a part of a group. I got there around 9:30 and the salsa lessons were ongoing in the main room. I stood outside the circle like I normally do, and I heard my name. It was D, and he was cool enough to point me where our team’s table was, where I saw other people in our group. I felt welcomed and accepted, which was a refreshing feeling. I’m actually making friends? Wow…
After the performances were done, I danced a couple of salsa songs and went back to the bachata room as usual. Things started to finally get better. I saw people I’ve danced with on previous events and danced with them. I was having fun. But I was also sweating a lot. I ended up changing my shirt 3 times over the course of the night. I wish I could change my pants and underwear though cause I was definitely sweaty down there. There was this one girl I danced with who’s super smoking hot though. I don’t remember her being that tall. I do remember being attracted to her the first time I saw her, but then it kind of waned a bit over time. I’ve seen videos of her performances on facebook and I didn’t think she looked as hot as I remembered her to be. But then I saw her in person again last night and I instantly felt it. I was just standing there minding my own business and next thing I know, she comes up to ask me for a dance. I remember the song too. It was the bachata version of the song “Chivalry is Dead.” Man, whoever gets to be with her is one extremely lucky dude. She’s pretty much the full package. Pretty face, sexy body, tall, great dancer, and not stuck-up. You can’t ask for any more than that.
This night definitely felt like it ended too quickly. It wasn’t long before it was already 2 AM, and the event was over before I knew it. I still felt like I could’ve danced a few more hours, but I could tell as soon as I got home that I put my legs and feet through a lot, especially after dancing in those shoes that were too snug for my comfort.
So tonight I’ll be in NYC. I’m a bit anxious about going, to be honest, just because there tend to be more guys than girls almost everywhere I go, and it’s frustrating. If guys can learn to be less thirsty about everything, it would make things better. But no, most men act like dogs and can’t control themselves. Yes, I’m a man and I have the same instincts and desire as any other, but I can control it. I can be respectful and mindful of a woman’s boundaries even if deep inside I want nothing more than to…use your imagination here.
For example, I got to practice with a fellow dance teammate at HER place yesterday, and we were alone the entire time. We just did what we were supposed to do. She was nice enough to cook dinner too even though she didn’t have to. She wanted to come down to PA but eventually decided against it since she lives in NY. After dinner she took a shower while I cleaned up and she came out only wearing her towel and asked me for directions to get to PA. Did I try anything? Of course not. Was I curious about how she looked underneath her towel? YES. I wasn’t going to try and find out though, cause it wasn’t appropriate.
Yes, I’m also single and could try to hook up with anyone I like. But I also have to be selective about it. Not that there’s anything wrong with her, the point is we may have different intentions. I’m only looking to have fun if I have that opportunity, while others may be looking for something more. So it’s up to me to communicate that if the window of opportunity opens.
Anyway, I’m done rambling about this. I have to get a quick workout in, take a shower, and head to NYC. I’ll write about how it turns out later.
I had a few good dances in tonight but overall I was disappointed. It was supposed to be 50/50 with salsa and bachata but they played more salsa and even put in kizomba in place of bachata at times, which was frustrating to deal with. What the fuck is wrong with people around here…I just want to go back to that place where they play 100% bachata in one big room. I have no problem staying there all night.
Fuck this shit. I’m going to sleep and try to forget about the nonsense I dealt with tonight.
It would be great if I could speak spanish, that way, I don’t have to look up translations for bachata lyrics when I want to. One of my favorite artists is Daniel Santacruz and after reading the translation for his song “Se Busca un Corazon,” I started to gain more of an appreciation for it. I’ve looked up his other songs too and whenever I read them it’s like I feel a oneness with each song itself, as if I started to feel the emotions of the singer as they performed the song.
Wanted: A Heart
“Wanted: a passionate heart, it doesn’t matter if it’s been
Mistreated. Looking for a heart that needs to feel just a little bit in love like I do.
Wanted: a hopeful, but not necessarily obsessed heart
That wants to discover the good side of love
And feels at peace by my side
I’m looking for kisses that shape to my lips
That take away the sour taste of the past
I’m going around looking for dreams forgotten in the left pocket of my disappointment
Wanted: a heart that jumps with joy to the soft touch of my hand. Looking for a heart that feels like me. Looking for a heart that wants to love and be loved, that could paint the past in happier colors. A heart that would melt here by my side, that wants to talk about love with my lips. A desperate heart to fall back in love. If anyone has any information, please come and I’ll be waiting
I’m looking for kisses that shape to my lips
That take away the sour taste of the past
I’m going around looking for dreams forgotten in the left pocket of my disappointment
Wanted: a heart that jumps with joy to the soft touch of my hand. Looking for a heart that feels like me. Looking for a heart that wants to love and be loved, that could paint the past in happier colors. A heart that would melt here by my side, that wants to talk about love with my lips. A desperate heart ready to fall back in love. If anyone has any information, please come and I’ll be waiting
Wanted: a heart, Wanted: a heart, Wanted: a heart that wants my love, a desperate heart ready to fall back in love, if anyone has any information, please come and I’ll be waiting”
I guess this is what happens when I don’t get to dance for one Friday night. I made the mistake of staying local and it was too late to change course. I got there at 10:30 and there was no one on the dance floor and people were just sitting around wasting time. So I wasn’t gonna go in there and wait around till people decide to get up and do something. In NY or Philly this will never happen. Jersey is like the armpit. But tomorrow night should be good. I get to see friends and dance with actual dancers. I just need to go to bed and forget about tonight.
I find that I need to remain open-minded towards any event that happens in life, whether it’s negative or positive. I hung out with my good friend G for a few hours in Philly then went to meet with J after to see Deadpool. I really appreciate the fact that she’s been consistent with following through whenever we make plans. A lot of people tend to be flaky or unsure of what they want till the last minute and I tend to stay away from those types. I’d rather be with those who can make a decision and are able to stick with them unless something happens where it’s understandable to back out. So far, J doesn’t disappoint. No, I didn’t try to kiss her or anything tonight. It just didn’t feel like the right time, and it would’ve felt forced on my part, even though I did feel an urge to do it. I still had a good time just hanging out with her though. We went to a diner afterwards and talked for a while till I dropped her off at her place. There’s a chance we might meet up to dance on Saturday but we’ll see how her friend feels about taking a trip there. It would be cool to see her there, as there will be a lot of experienced dancers going, but I’ll understand if she couldn’t make it, as it is quite a drive to get there.
Since I haven’t social danced in a while, I’m pretty anxious about tomorrow. I have quite a few choices on where to go, but I haven’t decided yet where. There is one spot that’s really close and supposedly there will be people coming in from Philly, so it would be cool if I could dance with some of them. There’s also another spot at a nearby town but it’s doubtful I’d go there. And there’s always my favorite spot in NYC but I’d have to take the train home early so I can get some sleep before work in the morning. I may just take the risk and go local. And if it doesn’t work out, oh well. I still have Saturday night to enjoy.
I have work on Sunday but it’s also my mom’s birthday. I’m not sure if she’d like to go out somewhere and I also have rehearsal. So I’m a bit torn about this. We’ll see what happens I guess.
And once again my mind is racing. I suppose I’m worried about how things are going to work out with the new job, school, and my dance hobby. Will I have enough to pay rent, bills, monthly dues for all the teams I’m in? Will I have enough time to concentrate on school so I can pass each test that I’m given? I can just tell it’s going to be tricky. I may just postpone going back to school for another few months, at least until I’m done performing all my routines. I think I can at least hold off until July, when my next enlistment bonus will kick in.
I might just do that, so I don’t have to feel overwhelmed by everything going on around me and just focus on what’s important at the time.
I haven’t had much luck sleeping early, always up till about 6 in the morning before I fall asleep. Tonight I tried going to bed by 2, which I did, but then ended up waking up around 3 and could not fall back asleep. I’m pretty much wide awake at about 6 AM right now. There’s just so much going on in my mind. I have a lot of goals I’d like to achieve this year, most of it involving things I love, which I suppose is why I can’t stop thinking about it and how good it would feel to finally accomplish them.
So as of now, I’m on 5 dance teams. 3 bachata, 1 kizomba, and 1 salsa. I kinda got dragged into the salsa one, but I instantly felt a difference in the way I approach bachata after the 2nd rehearsal. And it’s probably the most challenging out of all the routines I’m learning because it’s really fast. I’m still having trouble with the footwork and some of the partnerwork, which has been somewhat giving me anxiety.
Anyway, I can’t wait to social dance again, which probably won’t happen until Friday night. Even then, I won’t have much time to do so, as I have to get to bed early to get to work by 6 AM on Saturday.
But before we go there, tomorrow I’m going to the movies with J to see Deadpool after I hang out with my good friend G in Philly. It should be interesting how things play out. I feel a certain attraction towards J but I’m hesitant to make a move because I’m not looking to get into a relationship right now and I don’t want to end up hurting her feelings if she is. And while it’s comforting to have that someone, I don’t feel ready to make that commitment towards anyone unless I feel a strong, uncontrollable urge to be with them. I do enjoy spending time with her as we get along well and she trusted me enough to give me her address to come pick her up. So that’s Thursday.
Friday, I can get a workout in during the day and go out at night. It’d be cool to make it to NYC to dance at my favorite spot, and then go home early so I can sleep before work. If not, there’s a local spot I can go to for a little while and I don’t have to travel far.
Saturday, I have reserve duty. It should be a fairly chill day, hopefully. Then I can leave early enough to take a nap before going to a social at 9 pm. It should be a fun night as there will be experienced dancers there and I’m excited to dance some bachata at last. Of course I have to leave early again so I can function at work on Sunday.
Sunday, I hope to leave earlier again, and I may be able to sneak in a 15-20 nap before rehearsal. But if I can at least take a shower, that’d be nice. I’m pretty excited about rehearsal as well since we’ll probably learn new material.
Monday, I start my new job. It seems like I landed a good one here, as I only work 4-7 from Monday to Thursday with commission. I can go to school and have time to make it to work right after, then do any dance-related stuff after work. It’s perfect. I hope it works out.
I think the one thing that keeps me up at night is the fact that I’m so anxious about getting better, I really want it that bad. I keep thinking of all these new moves I want to try out and it sucks not being able to practice it with someone. I’m anxious to go back to Philly and have girls asking me to dance all night. It sounds like so much fun.